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May 20 一年这一年又过去了
今天无意之中又回来逛逛自己一年没来的space
哈哈～～～
N久都没有上过MSN 和 QQ咯
感觉自己每天的生活就是作业 上课 老公 朋友
反正来来去去就这几样
无聊又规矩啊～～～
怎么说呢，这一年之中我改变了很多
从每天出去疯狂到现在的 大半年多都没有出去过
变化之大 连自己都不敢相信呢
这一年里我有了工作经验 有了自己赚钱的经验
或许是因为我运气比较好 所以觉得赚钱也比较容易
这一年里我遇到了对我最重要的人 我的他
从来不知道哦原来还有人可以这样疼我 爱我 宠我
怎么说呢 真正遇到了会去想托福终身的人吧
不过总是觉得感情这事是说不准的 谁也不知道明天大家会变怎样
可是目前我很开心
两个人都见过对方的父母了～～～沟通上有着问题 也尽量去解决
呵呵 我居然读BUSINESS了 不可相信吧
跟我这一年的工作经验有关
原来BUSINESS读起来非常开心
找到了自己的位置。。。
希望朋友们都要过得开心哦 March 17 secret我爱的人， 爱我的人
我的空间真的不错，因为很少人来关注它
所以成为了我自己的秘密空间 呵呵
怎么说呢，最近真的是太疯狂了
加入了不同的圈子里 认识了不同的人
过着不同的生活
今天我彻底摆脱了这种生活了吧
忍受一个月
不能吃饭一个月
就是想给这些朋友们一些惊喜
思想上有些东西要想明白
要想得很明白
想变瘦
加油 CASEY March 13 paini am going through PAIN!!!
something happened tonight
good things and bad things
it seems like not my lucky day today
a really good friend told me a shocking truth, a secret
i m glad that i am the person he can really trust
but in another hand, there is something more than shocking
a little bit pain? i m not sure about it~~~
my whole life is confusing very...
definately need drinking tonight
but dam, sister is back~~~
kinda of losing my freedom now
i guess only need to wait for one more month
n then i can b free again
wana leave this country now
somewhere there is no family who takes control of me
but another hand, kinda miss all my lovely friends in akl
anyway a none sleep night
March 06 be yourself caseyBE YOURSELF CASEY!!!
feel like something emptied me inside out
havnt feel like this for a long long time
who am i? what am i doing on this world?
god knows...
never felt like this before...
maybe i am thinking too much
life is such a pain thing
eventhough u havnt gone through the most of it
am i wasting my life?
maybe i am...
always ask myself... does apperanence really matter that much?
the answer is YES
eventho i am a really nice person
so? who gives a fuk tho??????
maybe i shouldnt care too much ...maybe i should just be myself!!!
be strong casey
be yoursefl casey
keep telling myself over and over again
if i dont love myself then y other ppl love me?
but dayly and dayly
i begin to hate myself...
y da fak i m so fakin fat?
y da ppl i love who doesnt love me back?
should i just walk away and pretend nth happened?
or maybe i just keep it to myself
ah...... its so annoyin!!! March 04 心情日记今天比较开心的
跟好久没见的EDWINE一起去喝了酒
大部分人都喝HIGH了 好久没这么开心了 呵呵
喝完酒回家后一个人的感觉很不爽
突然这么寂寞
怎么办呢。。。好像对男人都失去感觉了。。。
空窗了这么久 第一次特别的想去恋爱了
可是我的原则是 要么不找要么就找好的
比较困难吧
人家都说恋爱是女人最好的美容产品
我想要恋爱的感觉了。。。哪怕只是单方面的去喜欢着谁也好呢
可惜 没有哦。。。
爱情的春天 何时才会来呢？ January 20 life in shenzhen要上来做个汇报呢
回过两个月了
姐他们马上就回来
我在这难受的睡不着觉
这次回来干了很多事情哦
最起码减肥等于是小有 成功的
除了体重掉了N多外 肚子也没了
终于可以跟我的救生圈说88了
买了 相机 NIKON的 便宜阿
还有好多化妆品 都是从香港收获回来的
开心。。。
过几天要培姐他们去照婚纱照
期待ING。。。 December 13 美丽的南岛这个HOLIDAY真是爽歪了呢
从澳洲回来后跟家里人去了新西兰的旅游胜地----南岛
就是拍THE LORD OF THE RINGS 的地方
是我有史以来见过最美的地方
南岛三大城市 CHCH，QUEENSTOWN，DUNEDIN
我都去过了， 其中最喜欢的还是属于QUEENSTOWN
明天就要回国了呢，感觉非常兴奋 希望这个HOLIDAY可以继续下去
December 02 澳洲归来 终于从澳洲回来了，这次去了20天，ADELAIDE 和 MELBOURNE
晒了一身黑皮肤回来，还是挺高兴的
看到了我的亲爱的表姐们。。。。。。
活得很是潇洒啊
希望二姐能尽快地去做她想做的事吧
这次旅行很愉快，吃了很多好吃的，看了很多好玩的，最重要的是我觉得墨而本真的很不错
所以更坚定了我要去那里读书的决心，明年是要赚钱的一年，赶快赞钱留着去墨而本 September 28 归来最近迷上了网游
年轻人么,都喜欢玩游戏的
大话3还真的挺好玩的,像我这种缺耐性的人都已经玩了一个月了
对我来讲已经算很久了
好久没来写东西了...最近发生的事情真是多
开心 不开心都有
没了男人的日子其实是很安静,很开心的
尤其成绩上起了不小的变化
周五要交份essay 不知道要怎么死
转了个发型,越来越短了......
要留头发!!!! 女孩还是可爱些的好吧,呵呵
马上就能回国了,减肥啊!!!要见老朋友咯! March 17 YOyohey ppl....hvnt been my space for soooooo long....lol......days go by reali fast cuz i m like super super busy...
assignment guys... absolutely fall in love with wot i am doin now at aut... the fine art stuff...its my thing~~~ goin out to a homo party tonight...its for girls only...so i can gt drunk hard out without scared guys takin advantage of me !!! hard out
i m truely happy these several weeks cuz i m doin wot i want all the time :) eventho i need to gt up at like 6 everyday n go hm reli late...stil... i m in love with arts.......
peace ppl yo all take care February 24 新西兰~真小 新西兰, 真的,真的很小. 中国人的世界,好象就那么点大 呵呵... 昨天晚上跟一群朋友喝酒喝到4点, 大家其实也没想弄什么party, 只是叫一些朋友来聊聊天而已......还不错吧 起码跟很多以前的mates都catch up了......有了个chill night
周六的夜晚, 在家里呆着, 哪都不想去, 闲的无聊上sky, 在单身的照片里, 看到一个女生超级眼熟,结果就跑去看她space....原来是jessi的朋友, 怪不得总觉得眼熟呢...哈哈
最惊奇的是 在她space的朋友栏里, 居然有我很久以前交过的男朋友的space...原来她们全是pkc的
其实当时傻,跟那男孩在一起的时候, 我是地下的那个...总觉得有天能当地上的, 现在想想, 就算我是明面的了, 难道他不会找别人做地下的啊 呵呵
人啊, 总是等感情没了, 才最理智呢...现在虽然单身, 但是其实从来都没有过想法要找男朋友... 单身挺好...专心读书也不错啊, 而且大把时间跟朋友在一起, 自己充电... 跟任何男生去吃饭, 也不会有任何问题... 这真的不错~~呵呵 不过真的还觉得我现在有点问题了...这么花心的人 居然对男人没有感觉 不管是多帅的多好的呢 只天天想 怎样才能build up我的drawin skills :)
开学咯 加油 February 16 苦了我自己吧终于有勇气又来space写东西了. 我和nikky彻底的分了, 是我自己的选择, 虽然也许这样真的苦了我自己, 但是我不能让自己后悔, 往肚里吞吧. 今天的一个电话, 也终于敢面对我过去将近一年的感情了.
一年的感情, 对我来说, 很少发生吧. 毕竟像我这种跳跃性思维又经常花心的人, 很少有人能让我坚持跟他在一起一年的. 而且这其中半年左右, 他还在日本. 跟nikky的认识, 是缘分, 当初最开始可能是好奇, 是激情, 不过真的在一起以后, 我真的把他当做家人. 对他的照顾, 和给他的爱, 我从来就没有吝啬过. 其实最开始真的很幸福, 觉得他很爱我, 除了身上的一些毛病之外, 他真的很爱我.
他对不起过我, 我原谅了他, 因为我爱着他. 所以我可以忍受一切 包括他的不好 我们的不合, 我都忽视掉了. 真的, 爱可以让人迷了眼吧.
我知道他爱我, 却远远不够我爱他的深. 电话,短信, 对他的在乎, 很多很多. 到了下半年, 我真的很了解他了, 他的一个眼神都能让我知道他在想什么. 这样的生活 很幸福吧, 但是我的心里, 一直是苦着的, 明明知道是为什么, 却不想去面对.
下半年了, 他去日本了, 跟我联系的很少, 我知道他可能真的比较不方便, 可是这更能显示出他爱我的程度吧. 他说他时时刻刻都没钱, 我并不在乎这个, 可是, 半个月连个电话都没有的日子, 让我的心越来越死. 本来就想着要分手的我, 更加的肯定了我的答案. 那就是很简单的一句话
他, 真的不够爱我, 甚至可能根本就不爱我吧. 因为我对他的好, 让他离不开我, 我认清了事实.
他回来了, 我以为我们又可以像以前一样的在一起, 却发现我的心 好象已经麻木了. 他抱我, 他亲我, 我都没什么感觉了. 是不是因为他伤我伤的太深, 所以, 我麻木了自己呢. 我提出跟他分手了, 我无法再面对以前的生活. 我无法再回去为他付出一切不求回报的日子. 看见他的我, 居然心里一点反映都没有, 我在问我自己 为什么. 也许就是已经麻木了吧. 好象我现在对任何男生都麻木了.
今天晚上打了个电话, 大家还是朋友 , 当他告诉我说他现在对一个日本的女孩感兴趣的时候, 我心里好象没有什么反映. 不能说完全没有, 有的更多的只是, 原来我已经不special了, 我就要真正的失去他了, 但是再回到他身边的日子, 那对我来说太痛苦了. 我真的想的很透彻, 很明白, 虽然我现在苦, 但是能挺的住, 再让我回到他身边, 我会彻彻底底的崩溃掉.
爱, 从来就不是我能承担的起的, 比起恋爱, 我现在还有更加重要的事, 就是学业, 我要加油!!! February 01 lifehohohoho... finally holiday is nearly over!!! oh my god, been workin way too much during this holiday bt gladly i earn a lot of money lol~~~~~~~~~i bought my self a brand new ipod nano, n ofcuz a pink color one, eventho a lot pplsay it looks not that good, stil i m a big pink fan lol... spend some money on my hair as wel, cuz i just dont like the curly look nmore i guess so i went to get it done straight... stil hvnt finish the whole look yet cuz the hari stylist said i better highlight it or something....
orentation day on the 12th... cnt wait for uni starts now, finally i can do wot i want to, isnt that exciting tho? lol........i think it wil b a good n fun year!
i m movin bak home frm city nxt week :) livin in city is not too bad, bt the feelin leavin away frm family n the noise....n everything, i just cnt stand it nmore... so this comin new year, i m goin2 hire a car park near aut n then goin to drive to uni everyday lol......
um... mum n sis left already to china for holiday... n steven wil leave soon as wel, so i m goin2 live in da big big house by myself... kind of scaryha... luckly, maria said she wil live with me for two weeks... :) January 20 旅行最近真是超级的忙哦~~呵呵 不知道我laptop出了什么问题 死活就是上不去和msn有关的任何东西, 什么messenger啊,space啊就连hotmail也开不开. 所以没有办法咯, 很是郁闷啊. 最近过的挺不错的, 还是老样子, 几乎每天都在打工呢. 就是忙, 收工回家看会碟 然后睡觉. 最近还是在考虑开学以后可能搬回家来住, 觉得家虽然离的远一些, 但是还是挺舒服的. 最近朋友圈子发展的很是糟糕, 几乎没有任何朋友了. lulu回国了, 不知道有没有回nz. maria几乎不怎么联系了都, 可能也跟交了男朋友有关系吧.
下周打工结束后 可能就会做一些出去旅行的准备, 现在的设想应该是自己出去住backpacker的那种简单的旅行. 可能会去syd或者是南岛, 还是要看机票的价钱如何. nikky给我打过几次电话都没接到, 看来还是没有缘分, 不过这事 我自己想的很开了, 我今年的主要精力还是在奖学金和比赛上面. 开学以后我可能会在一家gallery或者一家art supply打工.
现在生活很平静 很好, 呵呵... 大家假期愉快吧
January 02 updatehvnt update my msn space for absolutely ages.... busy busy everyday now lol~ yup, i m all good with my life! just work work everyday :) um... i got this job in a souviner store as retail like two weeks ago, n now i m workin 5days each week just like a full time ! 9-6 everyday, so life is very simple just work n come bak n sleep lol:)
i m doin this cuz i wana go on a trip by myself somewhere either in nz or in auz...i m not sure yet... about 2weeks b4 my uni starts~~~ my idea now is actually go to sydney... :) cuz i wanted to go ages ago, besides the flight ticket is even cheaper than goin to south island lol
nway, catch u guys later then... hv a gud holiday n good luck with life!!!
December 03 the holiday had a long ass holiday in australia~ for two weeks, i became a black girl ( at least brown) look like i m from thailand or something lol~~~ wel, my life, a lot changed ~
i learned a lot of things from my cousins while they r at australia... yes, i hv to say that i m stil reli reli young, bt i cant admit the truth is that i dont wana b together with someone who i cant see the future~ even tho i love him... or maybe i am too young to talk about love~
the worst bit, hv u ever had a experience when u like two guys equally the same? wel, thats wot is happenin with me at the moment lol~ um... hehe~ i dont kn wot to do now... probably i wil end up not with either of them~ cuz deep in my heart, i dont wana hurt any of them :)
obviously, one of them is nikky :) i sent him a txt last night to say that i wana break up, n i was thinkin about that over n over again even when i was with him, its just i cant see his face when i do it, or my heart wil be soften again, cuz...i love him
but there r too much problems btw us, its always problems... i dont like wot he is doing, wot he does with his mates, the attitude that once when he wana become a gansta, always broke, n the most thing i cannot stand, is there wil b or was or present now, someone or a lot of girls around him, i m fed up to check his phone n ask him about the girls~ so i made my decision last night, he didnt reply...so i was thinkin weather he got the txt or not... oh wel...
the worst thing i feel when i m with niky is that i dont think i m being loved, as in he doesnt really love me...n sometimes...i feel reali upset about it
oh wel, its all past now :) i m pretty happy about it...feel so release n relax now after getting out of a nervous relationship~ um... i had happy memories with him...n need to thank him for that
my targets nowadays is, find a job...very soon n actually prepare for my uni to start n maybe my love in the future... i m excited about next year in AUT...very lookin forward :)
November 10 updaterang yingee last night to catch up cuz we hvnt reli talk for ages.... had a tooth pain for like 3days or more, could not sleep at all last night :(
got up at 7 n go out to a denstist...lol~ n guess wot, i had my teeth takin out from my mouse for the first time!!!
had 4 num shots...n then i couldnt feel anythin
lol...stil bleedinT^T November 05 going to aus!!!hvnt update my blog for ages!!!! lol~ i m goin to australia soon!! for two weeks to see my cousins n uncle n everyone, so excited about it lol~!!! um... everyone is busy with exams at the moment, after i came back from auz, i m goin2 bay of island for a week as wel, oh, oh, travellin around around!!!
after that, i m goin to work for two month, n then AUT starts, new term new things, need2 contact studylink frist tho, gud luck ppl, u guys hv a wonderful holiday!!!! October 18 life without computers n internetppl....i just moved to a new house... near aut~ its pretty good n stuffs....bt only problesm is i cannot go on internet...n hv no phones... so life is pretty suck now... the worst thing is my dear baby laptop just die on me!!! after all of the stufss i ve been through.......cryin!!!
baby shud b bak like in 3 months from now on... pretty happi about it cuz days after days, i just miss him more n more!!!
in internet cafe now.......just update this shit n let yall kn that i cannot b on line for a while... later, peace! October 08 中秋今年的中秋节过的很热闹 哈哈~ 因为老妈在的原因吧, 周五那天,我回到了家,发现家里充满着节日气氛呢. 老妈把家弄的跟过年一样,那个花啊....别提了 哈哈, steven的朋友们都过来了, n多人, 大部分都是一对一对的, 最后算上我们四个人总共16个人...而老妈就做了16个菜...虽然我还没吃饱,可是跟大家闹也闹开心了 哈哈~
男生们喝了很多酒 差不多4箱啤的都给干光了......惊讶!
可怜的是 在这么好的节日里, 偶却感冒了, 身体很不舒服啊...好惨呢~ 想老公 想的不得了 也不知道他好不好 在干吗...想不想我 还是已经忘了我....下个礼拜要开始忙了 周三的面试 还有周日搬家~ 会忙起来呢
准备搬家完了后去找份工作了得....要不实在是不行啊~
呵呵 祝大家节日快乐哦~ |
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